Hostel Posting 10/1/2013
Kerouac: "I like too many things and get all confused and hung-up running from one falling star to another till I drop. This is the night, what it does to you."
Soccer 9/30/2013
Dimitri: Oh look Americans cheating at a sport, no surprise there.
Breakfast 9/29/2013
Me: I'm having a root beer float and chex mix for breakfast. Don't judge me!
Pools 9/28/2013
Colleen: Just try sneaking into their pools, that is what I do.
Fake 9/27/2013
Lauren: Do you know where I can get a fake ID? (she said this to the receptionist)
Stone 9/26/2013
Karen: If you really lost 2 stone you would be dead.
Foam Shower 9/25/2013
Nicole: I figured that the foam party counted as a shower.
Boo 9/24/2013
Jessica: You know how I treat my boo.
Vinny: Please never say that ever again.
Banana King 9/23/2013
Vinny: Are you the Banana King?
Me: Yes I am!
Fire Whiskey 9/22/2013
Crazy Homeless Lady: That cinnamon fire whiskey is good. Someone left a bottle of it in the alley one time. I tried it and I liked it!
Bob 9/21/2013
Me: That guy is the Hawaiian Bob Barker
Quart 9/20/2013
Me: I only bought a quart of milk from the store.
Jenny: How much is a quart?
Me: It's one fourth of a gallon.
Jenny: Stop making up words.
Me: Okay, it's roughly a liter.
Tijuana 9/19/2013
Kelly: Which group is going to Tijuana and which group is getting tattoos?
Amirica 9/18/2013
Jenny: My friend named her two daughters Ami and Rica. Then when she was mad at them she would yell America!
Skittles 9/17/2013
Security: You didn't declare any food. We found skittles in your bag.
Me: Sorry about that. Can I bring skittles into your country?
Hair 9/16/2013
Dawn: Did you get your hair cut?
Me: Yes, do you like it?
Dawn: I think so... what matters is that you like it.
Wiping 9/15/2013
Cheryl: I'm wiping him!
Samir: What? I think you mean that you're beating him.
Electric Fence 9/14/2013
Brian: That looks like an electric fence.
Me: Ow! DAMN IT! Yep, definitely electric.
Cows 9/13/2013
Brian: Cows don't attack people... right?
Roosters 9/12/2013
Brian: The roosters here caw at random times during the night... then they go crazy at sunrise.
Goose! 9/11/2013
Danielle: My grandma would lure geese to her by using a piece of paper as bread. Then she would grab them, stuff them under her shirt and cook them for dinner.
Oahu 9/10/2013
Zach: That brochure says Oahu. Is that a beach or city?
Reception: Oahu is the island that you are currently on sir.
Mattresses 9/9/2013
Zach: How do you keep finding abandoned mattresses?
Me: It's a gift.
Winward 9/8/2013
Me: What is Winward? Is it the name of a ship?
Peilia: It is the beach we are going to tomorrow.
Me: ...So no ship?
Jesus 9/7/2013
Chip: My first time scuba diving I found Jesus. There was literally a statue of him at the bottom of the ocean.
Salsa 9/6/2013
Peilia: Dance monkey! Salsa salsa salsa!
Princess 9/5/2013
Peilia: I don't want to work anymore.
Me: Me either, my goal is to find and marry a rich princess.
Peilia: I'm a princess, but I'm not rich.
Me: I was so close to marrying you.
Langahol 9/4/2013
Joanne: When learning a new language it really does help to have alcohol.
Tightrope 9/3/2013
Me: I'm telling you tightrope walking is going to be the new cheap date go to option.
Oil 9/2/2013
Steven: Norway has lots of oil, but we don't talk about it because we don't want the US to invade us.
White 9/1/2013
Calvin: The English are so white I can almost see through them. If they hold real still you can see their heart beating.
Machete 8/31/2013
Lizzie: What's that noise?
Me: It sounds like two people are sword fighting with machetes.
Surrender 8/30/2013
Elly: The bar closes when you surrender.
Rocks 8/29/2013
Jane: In Samoa the dogs will attack you. That is why I always carry a rock... just in case.
Roach Soap 8/28/2013
Maria: Only use the orange soap in the bathroom. The white soap is blocking a hole that the roaches use.
Lights Out 8/27/2013
Me: There aren't any lights in my room.
Ryan: They turning the electricity on at 6pm, the lights should work then.
Me: No, there is not a physical light bulb in my room, only a light fixture.
Cartoons 8/26/2013
Brandon: Did you have cartoons growing up?
David: No, I had a stick that my parents gave me and I played with it for hours.
Refrigerators 8/25/2013
David: I had an American ask me if Germans have refrigerators... of course we do!
Attitude 8/24/2013
Me: That's funny, I don't remember paying for attitude.
Hot 8/23/2013
Mariah: We're going to have a 14 degree day on Sunday so it is going to be hot and sunny!
Liver 8/22/2013
Brandon: I think my liver just broke.
Cheeky 8/21/2013
Will: He gets away with it because he is a cheeky rascal.
High Five 8/20/2013
Matt: It was a really loud high five, my hand was red, people were impressed.
Me: Can I have your autograph?
Spoons 8/19/2013
Kelsey: I've been in a six person spoon, three is not enough.
Scissors 8/18/2013
Emma: Do you have scissors? I need to cut my nails.
Me: I have nail clippers.
Emma: I've never used those before.
Goon 8/17/2013
Samantha: Do you know what goon is?
Me: Yes, it's the aussie equivalent of boones farm.
Dandruff 8/16/2013
Tom: How do they know that all men don't want dandruff? I don't recall being asked. It's sexist.
Tonsilitis 8/15/2013
Girl mocking guy at dinner: Oh look at me I have tonsilitis and I don't take medication for it... blah blah blah
Immune System 8/14/2013
Jack: My immune system is excellent, it was designed by Porsche.
Turkey Dinosaur 8/13/2013
Rachel: Turkey dinosaurs are a real thing. It is Englands version of the chicken nugget.
The Hob 8/12/2013
Rachel: Quick turn on the hob!
Me: The what? I have no idea what you are saying.
Rachel: Turn on the fire ring (she was referring to the burner)
How? 8/11/2013
Brett: How did we get back to the hostel last night?
Chris: I don't remember... maybe we should pace ourselves tonight.
The Ritz 8/10/2013
Rob: You had a ton of confidence, for a second I thought security was going to let you in.
Me: It might have worked if I were wearing a suit and tie instead of flip flops and shorts.
Mouth Cream 8/9/2013
Gabrielle: Do you have that cream that you put in your mouth?
Me: Toothpaste?
Gabrielle: YES!
Potatoes 8/8/2013
Brian (from Ireland): I got a job in Australia working on a potato farm.
Tyler: An Irishmen picking potatoes! HAHAHA!
Dingo Buddies 8/7/2013
Natalie: We had dingo buddies at the last place we were at so we wouldn't get attacked.
Roo Steaks 8/6/2013
Tracy: You can buy kangaroo steaks at the market down the street.
Candy 8/5/2013
Margaret: Candy in the US is so cheap. I spent $200 and brought a lot back home.
Fillahillaknees 8/4/2013
Gina: Fillahillaknees is my favorite country.
Me: Can you show me what country that is? That's called the Phillippines.
ZZZ 8/3/2013
No quote today I'm sleeping.
Chicken or Beef 8/2/2013
Attendant: Would you like chicken or beef sir?
Person behind me: FISH!
Sleep 8/1/2013
Phyllis: I'm so tired my eyes hurt.
Camera 7/31/2013
Maddie: I always find an old couple and have them take my picture. That way if they run off with my camera I can catch them.
Rent 7/30/2013
Mabri: I'm showing you booked 20 nights. That will be $4217. Just kidding!
Vikings 7/29/2013
Will: A long time ago the Vikings took all of the beautiful women from the rest of Europe. That is why the girls in Sweden and Norway are so pretty.
Glass 7/28/2013
Me: I'm just pulling shards of glass out of my flip flops.
Huckleberry 7/27/2013
Lee: I'll be your Huckleberry.
A Venice Fish 7/26/2013
Me: I can't believe that they are literally serving us plain bread and are calling it breakfast.
Gelato 7/25/2013
Me: The gelato was so good that it made time stop.
Hail Mary 7/24/2013
Rosie: I have confirmed that doing hail marys in the Vatican does not cure a hangover.
Change 7/23/2013
Isabella: You won't be the same person after you are done with this trip.
Hot 7/22/2013
Lee: I'm not used to this heat. I can't breathe.
USA 7/21/2013
Chris: Stop chanting USA, it's 3am and the Korean girls are trying to sleep.
Drunkeled 7/20/2013
Chris: I'm drunkeled.
Swag 7/19/2013
Joey: You broke the door with your swag.
Queens 7/18/2013
Chris: I ran into a group of drag queens last night.
Mermaid 7/17/2013
Tom: Stop being a mermaid!
Dinner 7/16/2013
Jake: Dinner is served.
Nick: This is terrible.
Jake: ADD MORE BASIL!!
Picture 7/15/2013
Me: Your goal today is to hunt down an animal and get your picture taken with it.
Cassie: Animals don't exist in Poland.
Me: Polar bears.
Cassie: It doesn't work like that.
Sneaky 7/14/2013
Nick: How did you get in?
Me: I went in through the back. It wasn't guarded you?
Nick: I got here really early and found a door that was unlocked.
Trip 7/13/2013
Me: The trip is only offered on Tuesday.
Vann: Oh okay, what day is it today?
Rules 7/12/2013
Me: Christiania has rules too.
1. No Photography
2. No Running (It can cause a panic)
3. No feeding hippies after midnight
Eastern Europe 7/11/2013
Cassie: Don't pick that up! Everything in Eastern Europe has aids on it!
Pasta 7/10/2013
Me: Hey buddy your pasta is boiling over... ahhhh now my pasta is boiling over!
Game Face 7/9/2013
Benji: Get your game face on bro!
Boat? 7/8/2013
Me: I was not expecting a 45 minute boat ride when I got on this train (the conductor literally drove the train on to a boat and we took that part of the way to Berlin).
Jump 7/7/2013
John: I jumped off of a moving train.
Wake Up 7/6/2013
Joe: I was talking with this girl and I got the impression that her life was one giant wake up call.
Embassy 7/5/2013
Me: If I get into trouble I will just run to the US embassy and yell sanctuary.
Moscow 7/4/2013
George: Look lady if you stay on this train car you are going to wake up in Moscow. You don't want to be in Russia.
Clubbing 7/3/2013
Leo: My girlfriend and I went to a club with a pricey cover so we thought it would be good. It turned out to be a swingers club. It was very awkward.
Dubai 7/2/2013
Mark: I teach physics in Dubai. In the summer it gets up to 50 degrees celsius (122 degrees fahrenheit).
Ausraeli 7/1/2013
Fran: Are you Israeli? Oh wait you're an Aussie aren't you?
Me: I'm both, you guessed it, I'm an Ausraeli.
Sugar 6/30/2013
Me: That doesn't look like sugar.
Shuffling 6/29/2013
Vicki: How do you know when a deck is shuffled?
Tuition 6/28/2013
Natalie: Tuition in London is expensive now. I had to pay $3000 for last year.
Art 6/27/2013
Me: That isn't art, they just put air ducts on the floor.
Oh Canada 6/26/2013
Debs: I know Canada's national anthem. Oh Canada... drop it like it's hot. Okay, I only know the remix.
Hangover 6/25/2013
Ben: If I were anymore hungover I would be dead and I still made it to work. I deserve an award or some sort of recognition.
Manager: Your prize is you get to keep your job.
Water Rats 6/24/2013
ShanShan: The ducks beaks are dirty they are water rats.
Brazil 6/23/2013
Seth: The staff double booked your bed last night. A Brazilian girl was trying to get into your bed, but I stopped her.
Me: I hate you.
Money 6/22/2013
ShanShan: I have too much money in my purse. I can't close it.
Me: That's a first world problem.
Question 6/21/2013
Steph: There are no stupid questions. My employer makes me say that. We all know that stupid questions exist, please refrain from asking them.
Food 6/20/2013
Me: What is the strangest thing you have ever eaten?
Lucy: Ox tongue.
Shorts 6/19/2013
Patrick: The french people in Paris don't wear shorts, no matter how hot it is outside. (He's right)
Mexican Food 6/18/13
Isabella: Americans took Mexican food and made it even worse for you to eat.
Me: Yes, but it tastes SOOO good.
Africa 6/17/13
Josslyn: This guy came up to me today and said he wanted to take me away to Africa with him, it was creepy.
Me: So... girls don't like hearing that?
Nap 6/16/13
Matt: I took a nap in the Louvre.
Wine 6/15/13
Jessica: Wine is cheaper than food because they want us to be happy here.
Pickpockets 6/14/13
Tower Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen pickpockets are active in the tower. Please protect your luggage. Thank you for your vigilance.
Marriage 6/13/13
Moka: Finding the right guy is like finding a pair of shoes that you want to wear forever.
Moose 6/12/13
Reima: Non-muscular women eat moose.
Pants 6/11/13
Ryan: Okay, one more shot then daddy needs to put on some pants (for the club).
Blackout 6/10/13
Me: What is the most exciting thing you have done in Europe?
Kim: I don't know. I blackout when I drink.
Birthday - 6/9/13
Kash: Everyone listen. Pub crawls are illegal here. So if anyone asks we are all out celebrating that guys birthday.
Texas - 6/8/13
Kip: Texas is the best place to live in the whole world.
Me: Does Texas have grass?
Kip: Yeah...umm...in the north eastern part there is some grass and shrubs.
Stella - 6/7/13
Me: STELLA!
Stella: Yes?
Me: It is from Seinfeld.
Stella: What is a Seinfeld?
Powerpoint - 6/6/13
Me: Yes.
Lulu: Really!? Where? I need to charge my phone.
Me: Oh, you meant power point. No there aren't any in this room.
Lulu: :(
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